As the World Turns
by SlashAddx
Summary: "I just. I need to know." She set her mug down and turned sideways on the sofa to face him. "Would you hate me if I wanted to be with him?" They didn't have to say his name for Stefan to understand. / Hint of Defan, because of course.


Inspiration: Maybe Twilight? Really don't know.

* * *

Stefan and Elena stared at each other over mugs of blood and tea, respectively.

"What is it you wanted to talk about, Elena?

"I just. I need to know." She set her mug down and turned sideways on the sofa to face him. "Would you hate me if I wanted to be with him?"

They didn't have to say his name for Stefan to understand.

"You think that's a good idea?"

"I, I love him."

"I know." The truth was he knew possibly longer than she had. Giving it voice didn't burn like he thought it would. Maybe he'd been expecting it too long. Maybe all pain was the same. He held Elena's burning gaze. "You loved me too. Probably even Matt once."

"Matt?" Her laugh was incredulous. "That was just kids stuff. A crush because we'd been through so much together growing up. We didn't really have anything in common once we got together."

Stefan stared at her, waited. Elena wasn't sure what that look meant but it made her skin itch until his expectation changed to disappointment and at last he looked away. "But you wouldn't settle for Matt and you wouldn't wait for me." He winced slightly, the look of pain so familiar on his face Elena didn't try to console him with a lie. "How about Damon? Are you willing to do whatever it took to be with him?"

Elena paused, the implication of the question pressing against her. Silence amplified in the massive house, finding corners to echo against.

"That's what I thought." Stefan narrowed his eyes, "you'll get over it. He doesn't need another person in his life who's only in it to please themselves." He got up to walk away, ready to leave her alone to think it over.

"I could turn?"

Fuck, there it was. She never could just ask for what she wanted. The rushing sensation of pins and needles in all of his extremities froze him to the spot. A creak in the floorboards upstairs shook him out of it.

He forced himself to turn back around and face her. "You wouldn't before."

She kept her gaze locked on her hands, knees pulled up so her arms were twisted around them making her look very small. "Things are different now."

So it's going to be like that? Yeah, Elena wouldn't turn when Damon forced her to make a choice and Stefan was her most obvious conclusion. And yeah, now Damon seemed to be losing interest in Elena. Stefan let her go, there's was nothing Damon had to be jealous over anymore. Stefan figured that was sort of the fucking point when it was Stefan who finally let Damon have what he really wanted. His stomach clenched and his legs shook from the rocking as much like seasickness as anything. There were no words.

"Stefan, would you do it?"

It took a moment for Stefan to understand which question she was asking. He had once. He turned, taking his brother with him so long ago. It only recently brought his brother back to him. But she never realized that. She was asking something else entirely.

"You want me to turn _you_?" He didn't sound nearly as shocked as he should.

"Surely you don't feel anything for me anymore. You'd help me be with him, right?"

It was true, he didn't love her anymore, but that didn't mean he never did. To ask this of him so casually, everything inside Stefan pushed at all the seams holding him together.

"What the hell Elena? What makes you think…" He shook his head, walking back to where she was curled up on the sofa and sat on the edge beside her. "There are so many things you don't understand about this life. About Damon." Stefan twisted his ring around his finger. "You don't know what you're asking for."

"Caroline can handle it!"

The cruel suggestion that Elena was somehow better than Caroline fueled Stefan's intense revulsion. It just proved that Elena has no idea what her friend had to go through. She had no idea what any of them had to go through. He wanted to laugh in her face. " _Caroline_ didn't have a choice. She didn't do it because she had a crush on a guy she'd only known a few years. Most of which was spent dating his brother."

Elena flinched, eyes falling back to her hands in silence.

"Is that your answer then?"

Damon would be furious. It'd be decades before he'd speak to either of them.

Would serve her right.

"If it's what you really want."

She smiled triumphantly, only tempering it afterwards when she looked at Stefan's concerned expression.

"You've always let me get away with anything."

"It's important to have the freedom to make your own decisions." He shrugged lightly. "If it's not me you'll just find another way. Caroline would probably think it's romantic."

"It is." She whispered, something dreamy and horrendously misguided in her insistence.

His eyes shot up to hers. "It is not. There's nothing noble about dying for love. Trust me. It's the end of an innocent life-using that to prove some kind of point is just waste. It affects everything you are, everything you could be."

Elena stood up. The couch buffered their stand off, but Elena seemed resolved in her defiance. "I won't _really_ be dead."

"You have _no_ idea what you'd be."

"I want him to know I'm committed to making it work."

"Are you sure he'd want you if you did this?"

She bit her lip, considering it. Stefan just hoped it wasn't the first time she thought about it.

"Go home, Elena."

She started, "But you said you'd-"

"I'm not murdering anybody right this minute. Dammit, Elena. Graduate first, or something. This isn't like getting a fucking tattoo. You don't get to remove this decision with a laser."

"You'll still do it though right?" She stepped back again, partially content with his answer.

"Give me a chance to wrap my brain around it." He looked up at the ceiling, leading her through the foyer towards the door. "For now you have to leave."

Elena kept her head down as she walked out the door.

Stefan turned, looking up the stairs where his brother appeared, arms crossed, looking furious.

"What do you think, brother?"

Damon shook his head and threw his arms out. "Don't you dare fucking do it. It'll ruin everything!"

A small smirk crossed Stefan's mouth. Oh if Elena only fucking knew.

"I know."

* * *

 **Update A/N** : Apparently this one needs some background info. But I don't have much. These characters talk to each other in my head sometimes until I write it down. The Twilight inspiration stems from Bella constantly thinking about Edward turning her so they could be together forever. I thought it was a selfish thing to ask. Then I thought about Elena actually wanting to turn but only pictured her going about it all wrong. So, to the guest that commemnted on them being OOC, you're probably right.


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